Your Least Favorite Book Ever?

Okay, so what are some books that you just despise, for whatever reason?  I've made a pact with myself to read every book that I pick up until the bitter end in the belief that there may be some redeeming quality as I progress through the literature.  This isn't always fun, though; sometimes it can get messy.

Before I name my least favorite choice, I want to say that I have a deep respect for this author.  However, everyone produces something that isn't a masterpiece every once in a while.  That being said, my least favorite book of all time is The Number of the Beast by Heinlein.  This book was so tedious.  Let's just say that the good portion of this many hundreds-of-pages novel are spent whizzing through space and time in a "time machine" (sixth to the sixth to the sixth power is an important mathematical number in this book, hence the title).  However, nothing actually happens.  It bored me to tears.  I had to force myself to pick it up.  Not to mention that the book is incredibly sexist and belittles women.  At one point, one of the main characters even says that she's willing to have sex with her father if he desires it, because she wants to please him.  So yeah.  Heinlein got a bit sex crazed later on in his life, but that wasn't the half of it.

I now quote the words of reviewer Sue K. Hurwitz:  it is "a catalog of Heinlein's sins as an author; it is sophomoric, sexist, militantly right wing, and excessively verbose." She comments that the book's ending was "a devastating parody of SF conventions—will have genre addicts rolling on the floor. It's garbage, but right from the top of the heap."

 Now supposedly this book is a guide on how to write good fiction by showing how bad fiction is written.  It also alludes to many other works of "good" literature.  However, that should have been put in a manual.  If Heinlein was trying to write the worst possible book, then he certainly succeeded.  This wasn't a look back to the pulps -- this book isn't even worthy of being burned as pulp.

Another book that I really don't like was Great Expectations by Dickens. It was extremely dry and I just couldn't get into it.  I was also forced to watch a British film of it in class, which dragged on for hours and hours.  Not recommended.

Just one more.  I have a beef with Moby Dick by Herman Melville, but I haven't decided whether I will re-read it or not.  It seemed to me that most of the book was on the mating and migration habits of whales.  Not exactly my favorite subject.  Anyways, what are some of yours?  And why?

What Are Your Favorite Books/Series of All Time?

It doesn't matter what genre, just post away!  Feel free to list as many or as few as you would like (in the comments).  I'd be interested to see what everyone enjoys most in terms of literature.  Also, if you have read any of these books, or authors, and want to share your own thoughts on them, feel free!

Here are some of my favorites with short plot summaries.  I tried not to give too many spoilers, but rather I want to interest you in the book(s) if you haven't read them.  I had a hard time choosing what to put on this list, and there are many other favorites that I have.  Either way, this should give you an insight into some of my favorite literature.

Dune Series by Frank Herbert

A universe of noble families, mysterious organizations, and breathtaking planning and scope, the Dune books are science fiction classics at their best.  Interstellar travel is reliant on a drug called spice, which can only be found on the planet Arrakis.  It also allows users to see into the future, which provides for intriguing plot twists.  The series follows the character Muad'Dib, prophet of the Fremen, and his companions and descendents.  Jihads, crazy genetic manipulators, a secret society composed entirely of women, a sadistic and twisted villain, a loveable troubadour -- the characters and scenes in these novels are simply unforgettable.


The Lord of the Rings Series by J.R.R. Tolkien

 

The Lord of the Rings is my favorite fantasy series of all time.  I'm pretty much a hopeless Tolkien nerd.  The books follow many characters, but the most important are probably Frodo Baggins and Aragorn son of Arathorn.  Frodo is a hobbit who must carry a terrible burden in the form of the ruling ring to the gates of Mordor in order to vanquish evil in Middle Earth by defeating Sauron.  Aragorn is the heir to the throne of Gondor, and through various tribulations and battles must find a way to come into his heritage.  The books are populated with incredible lore and creatures, including elves, orcs, trolls, dragons, and wizards.  I may choose to write my next fan fiction in this universe...I'm thinking of doing something with the Valar.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Perhaps my favorite classic of all time, The Count of Monte Cristo is a fascinating story that follows an honest man who is spurned by his so-called friends.  Denied of the chance to marry the woman he loves, Dantes is locked away in the Château d'If for many years.  He must find a way to escape and decide whether or not to exact a terrible vengeance on those who have betrayed him.  The unabridged version of this book is over 1000 pages long, but every line is worth it.  I've read this multiple times and it there is still joy to be found in every line.

Eon, Eternity, and Legacy by Greg Bear

These novels are a series in the universe of The Way, an artificial construct that spans an unimaginable distance through time and space.  An advanced human civilization lives in The Way.  But who constructed it?  What is at the end of The Way?  What will be the future of humanity?  These books are thrilling reads into a fascinating future, and represent epic science fiction at its best.

Last of the Breed by Louis L'Amour

I really don't think that there was a better storyteller in our time than Louis L'Amour.  His words were simple, but they struck at the heart.  Last of the Breed is my favorite work by him.  Although he mostly wrote Westerns, at the heart most of them were survival stories.  Last of the Breed is exactly that.  It follows the story of Joe Mack, a U.S. Air Force pilot whose plane was shot down.  Captured by the Soviets, he must find a way to escape his prison.  But can he survive in the wilderness that is Siberia?  If he is to do so, he must rely on his Native American roots...

Ringworld by Larry Niven

In terms of conceptual framework, it's hard to imagine a book more successful than Ringworld.  Imagine an artificial construct circling a star, unimaginably complex and massive.  But who built the Ringworld?  What interest do man, Kzin, and the Pupeteers have on this world?  The book follows these plot threads, and is one of the hallmarks of science fiction.  Where do you think Halo came from?  Unfortunately, the series itself does not live up to the first book.  Nevertheless, I would highly recommend that you read at least Ringworld. 

Wyrms by Orson Scott Card

This is a strange book, but one that for me has been profoundly challenging.  It requires the reader to view evil in a new light -- is it truly a disgusting thing if the Unwyrm wants a chance for his own offspring to flourish, when his world has been taken hostage for generations?  The book follows Patience, a young girl who is prophesied to either save or destroy the world.  What will be her fate?  As much as I love some of Card's other works, I think that this one is my favorite.

A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge

In their search for knowledge, a group of human scientists at the High Lab accidentally release an Evil Power into the Transcend.  Marooned to a backwater planet in the Slow Zone, the heroes and heroines of this novel must join together with a race of medieval group minds in order to attempt to battle it.  But can they succeed?  How can one contest with forces of this magnitude?  One of the highlights of epic space opera, this novel was a landmark that you won't want to miss.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress is the story of the lunar colony's revolt from Mother Earth. It explores complex issues, including artificial intelligence, colonialism, and transworld politics.  It's one of Heinlein's finest works, and has been influential in the genre as a slew of authors have drawn inspiration from this masterpiece.  If you've read any of his works, including Starship Troopers, then you won't want to miss this one either.

Sentience and The Master of Chaos by Terry A. Adams

My last choice is a personal favorite, even if it's completely unknown.  I picked up Sentience at a library booksale, and liked it so much that I immediately bought the sequel.  The story follows Lady Hanna, a telepath who, because of her special abilities, must serve as humanity's representative to an alien race.  I have rarely found such depth in alienness and vivid imagery.  There were scenes that I actually went back to re-read, because they were so chilling (which I almost never do).  Strangely enough, these two books have influenced my writing as much as any of the other "great" science fiction works on this list.  I believe that the sequel was as good or even better.  And unlike some authors, Adams didn't just churn out more books for profit -- when the series was done, it was done.  I admire that.

Okay, here are mine!  What are some of yours?